I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
