well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize