Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize