Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize