You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
