Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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