That's intense
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
