It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
