Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
