Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
