i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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