Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
