this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
