Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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