Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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