Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
