After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
