matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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