nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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