So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
