i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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