im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
