I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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