my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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