Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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