But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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