She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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