Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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