....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
