Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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