It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We left the knife in your bed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
