He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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