did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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