He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
