I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
