Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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