We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize