What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize