White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this boner is exhausting
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
