so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Say something about gay babies.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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