please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
