i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
