I CAN MOONWALK!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize