What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
