absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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