with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize