i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
