It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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