Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
