nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
