The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
