sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize