I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Shame - the story of my life.
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