i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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