Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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