its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
