I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize