don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
