Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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