there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just pee around me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
