Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
