dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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