she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
