Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
