I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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