my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
