Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
