so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
