Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
