TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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