some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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