you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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