Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
