i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
