why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
