im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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