i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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